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I'm feeling blue
Dec. 17th, 2007 11:24 pmWell, after approximately two months of nearly constant companionship with Shals, she had to leave. *sad sniff* I drove her to LAX and saw her off. I offered to hide her from INS, but she turned me down. *another sad sniff*
I've been a bit depressed and stressed out since she left. Sad, 'cuz she's gone. Anxious, 'cuz all of a sudden I feel this incredible pressure to finish my research for chapter 2 and write it. Ugh.
Then today, I ran into an old friend who dropped out of contact 'cuz of shit happening in her life. On the one hand, I completely understand that she needed to cut out anything excess that would stress her out more. But on the other hand, I had to greet her a couple of times before I even got a response, and even that was less than lukewarm. I feel hurt.
I was hoping for some sympathy from my roommie, but again her life's stressed to the max right now, and she didn't have the time or energy to spare to listen to me. That's another rather depressing situation. I didn't know her that well when I moved in, but over the two months since we've lived together, she's been immersed in her exams, and so the only side I've gotten to know better is the side that's anxious, stressed out, and snappy. It makes the relationship a bit awkward. I've just tried to stay out of her way as much as possible, which kind of makes the living circumstances weird. It's kind of like living alone for the most part, but not having the privacy or space. At certain moments, it's like living with a ticking bomb that if I disturb it even a little, it'll go off in my face. It hasn't happened -- the blow up, I mean -- but at times there's that kind of tension. *shudder* Not fun.
I hope next month will be better -- in all those aspects: research, writing, friendships, and living situation.
I've been a bit depressed and stressed out since she left. Sad, 'cuz she's gone. Anxious, 'cuz all of a sudden I feel this incredible pressure to finish my research for chapter 2 and write it. Ugh.
Then today, I ran into an old friend who dropped out of contact 'cuz of shit happening in her life. On the one hand, I completely understand that she needed to cut out anything excess that would stress her out more. But on the other hand, I had to greet her a couple of times before I even got a response, and even that was less than lukewarm. I feel hurt.
I was hoping for some sympathy from my roommie, but again her life's stressed to the max right now, and she didn't have the time or energy to spare to listen to me. That's another rather depressing situation. I didn't know her that well when I moved in, but over the two months since we've lived together, she's been immersed in her exams, and so the only side I've gotten to know better is the side that's anxious, stressed out, and snappy. It makes the relationship a bit awkward. I've just tried to stay out of her way as much as possible, which kind of makes the living circumstances weird. It's kind of like living alone for the most part, but not having the privacy or space. At certain moments, it's like living with a ticking bomb that if I disturb it even a little, it'll go off in my face. It hasn't happened -- the blow up, I mean -- but at times there's that kind of tension. *shudder* Not fun.
I hope next month will be better -- in all those aspects: research, writing, friendships, and living situation.
